Acceleration: Speed Enhancements have come of age

Of course for every problem one encounter in life, the World Wide Web has an answer, usually dozens of answers, some better than others. So heretofore be warned. Do not go searching the web for accelerators, especially if lack of speed is what drives you to search in the first place.

Knowing how hungry people are for speed, dozens of would be accelerator hawkers are waiting to lure the unsuspecting in. Just like when searching for anti-popup devices, you will find yourself ironically deluged with dozens of pop-ups and persistent pages that will slow your computer to a death crawl.

You will become engaged in a clicking battle you cannot win, for these people who develop accelerators are cunning folk and have invented millions of ways to thwart your efforts to avoid pop-ups, and cascading pages.

You will be inundated with offers of everything from sex with Lilly to Viagra to dating services (leading one to believe that people with slow internet connections have even bigger problems than their surfing speed.) Some of these pages are so deviously constructed they will not even let you quit your browser without shutting down your computer. If you need an accelerator you must be clueless -- so the reasoning must go -- with extra cash to spend that you aren't using on broadband.